I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
