Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
