I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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