I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
