She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
