If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This house was built for laser tag.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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