I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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