I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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