p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
