nut hugger
I love black thongs
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
