I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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