I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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