Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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