um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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