You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
