1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
