This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
