I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
