wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
