This girl is more easily done than said...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize