Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
