everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
