I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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