I don't think brook has ever known best
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
