i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
