so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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