The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
