Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
