i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
