Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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