just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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