Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
