Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
