wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
