You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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