she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
