so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Randomize
