He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
