I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
