Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
