singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
