You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize