Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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