Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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