he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
