plz talk dirty to me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We have so much sex to catch up on
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
