Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize