is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
