dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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