He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
