chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
