I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
