White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
