I bet he comes in French.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Alive.
So much puke
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize