just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
worst night to have a conscience
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
