absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
