i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
