My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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